I go to a lot of preview events every year and not many of them have the wherewithal to establish a theme, let alone stick to one so well as Capcom did last night at Monster Hunter Tri University.

Not only were there an obscene amount of chalkboards, pennants and people in school kid uniforms — there was an actual lecture from Monster Hunter Tri Producer Ryozo Tsujimoto, complete with pointing stick and warnings about getting kicked out of class for sleeping.

The only thing about the event that didn’t smack of school was the theme drink list — hence the A- instead of a perfect score. I must’ve been to a hundred pep rallies between being student body president in high school and president of the anime club in college — and not once did any of my institutions of higher learning shell out for drinks.

You can check out the cocktail list below. Here’s the swag report (all of which will be up for grabs at mloud!):
1 Ginormous sweatshirt I will never wear
1 Fancy-looking notebook
1 Monster Hunter “Field Guide”
1 Set of pins, featuring cutesy character Cha Cha
1 Backpack of significant sturdiness

I don’t remember being assigned a Nerf N-Strike Elite review, but lo! A copy has been sent to my house for review purposes by the good folks over at EA Play Label.

Assuming word doesn’t come down from on high that I should break this bad boy open and get down to business, I’ll be tossing Neft N-Strike Elite to the mloud! onto the pile of swag I’m amassing for the December 9 event.

I do recall playing this game at PAX 2009 while I waited in line for an APB demo. The consoles for it happened to be set up close enough to the line for the PR rep to lean over and let us take turns shooting virtual Nerf darts at targets and robots. I was sort of “meh” about the whole thing (but totally grateful for something to do in line), until the guy told me that the Wii peripheral gun you plug your Wiimote into is actually a real Nerf gun you can use outdoors. On your brother. Like I would have done right then and there if he’d been around.

If you want the game for yourself and you’re not going to mloud!, it’s out now.

My last encounter with a skateboard ended in tears for me, blood for my brother and a hospital bill for a third kid. So I’m giving this skateboard away as soon as possible.

Not to sound ungrateful to EA Black Box for providing this thoughtful and theme-appropriate swag. I’m just terrified of skateboards, even ones without wheels. You ever read Calvin & Hobbes strips where Calvin’s afraid of his bike? That’s me with skateboards.

Luckily, mloud! is right around the corner, so I’ve got a place to send it straightaway. I already sent the bulk of my swag to the boss in Denver. And if nothing else, this skateboard should be a lot easier to carry on public transit in San Francisco than a 25 pound box of t-shirts.

Dragons will sell me almost anything — video games, clothing, you name it. I’ve got to say, though, I didn’t think I’d extend that to letter openers until I saw this.

You could seriously injure somebody without even unsheathing this thing. The only thing it’s missing is jeweled eyeballs. Now all I need are letters to open…

Oh yeah, here’s a Divinity II: Ego Draconis trailer:

In Micro Machine form!

I can’t say too much about the Dark Void event held at a Tesla Motors dealership last night — but luckily I don’t have to. The Dark Void community site’s got it covered. Check out their video for info on how you could win an actual Tesla Roadster via Dark Void.

Full swag report: Dark Void figurine, Tesla Roadster Micro Machine, promotional booklet (not pictured). The Polly Pocket and the Jawa are from my collection.

Swag cat is…

…disinterested. Maybe if I’d brought home a real Tesla Roadster, she’d give a damn.

I picked up a copy of Wii Fit Plus from Nintendo today for review purposes — and then had the traumatic task of getting the Balance Board pack home on public transit.

I was standing on the Powell Street station platform when I noticed a man staring at the box. The thing’s as big as a suitcase, so I assumed he was just trying to figure out what it was. But then, he gets on the same BART train car as me and spends the whole ride back to MacArthur station staring. Finally, as I’m getting off the BART, he blurts out, “You know that thing won’t make you lose weight, right?”

Jeez. Next time I have a Nintendo appointment, I’ll just drive. Stay tuned to find out how fat my cat is with Plus’s new weigh-your-pet-and/or-baby feature!

Namco Bandai Editors Day kicked off with the announcement of both Soulcalibur and Tekken games for the PSP and it was all pretty much gravy from there.

It was kind of a bummer not to see any Tales games whatsoever not even screens of Vesperia for the PS3. But last year, Tales games practically dominated the show floor alongside Souldcalibur IV, so it’s only fair to give other games the spotlight. Especially when some of them just look so pretty.

Check out what we got to see:

Previews
Tekken 6 Preview: When Pigs Fly
The Muchables Preview: Eat It!
Invincible Tiger: The Legend of Han Tao Preview: An Eyes-On Experience
We Cheer 2 Preview: Now With 40% More Male
Klonoa Wii-make Challenge Preview: Yep, It’s Challenging

Impressions
Katamari Forever Now In 1080p Forever
Dead to Rights: Retribution “Embraces the M” Rating
Food Network Gets In On Nintendo Cooking Sim Craze

Screens/Announcements
Naruto Grows Up On The PSP
Namco Bandai Bringing Manga Carta II Stateside
Tekken 6 Is Also Coming To The PSP
Soulcalibur Is Also Coming To The PSP
Here Are Your Soulcalibur: Broken Destiny Screens

Swag Report (Pictured)
1 Naruto T-shirt that might actually fit me
1 pleather Dead to Rights notebook (plastic cop badge not included)
1 Tekken 6 Xbox 360 faceplate to celebrate the series’ debut on Xbox 360
1 sassy Food Network tote my grandmother would kill for
1 flashy Tekken 6 print

I can’t say anything about the game, yet. But this swag should tell you all you need to know for now about 2K’s second mobster game coming out this fall.

Note the Italian restaurant-style takeout container. That ain’t pasta sauce splattered on the edge, there… Open it up and you’ll find — not a severed hand — but an ashtray, which I totally can’t use being that I don’t smoke (now I know how my parents felt when I gave them all those clay-made ones from art class…) plus some nifty matchboxes.

Check back here Monday April 20 for an actual first look of the game.

The Midnight Club: Los Angeles “South Central” expansion has finally hit both the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. So too has the Rockstar Games‘ promotional swag hit our inbox.

The lil’ Saleen S281 Mustang is still mint in package and clearly no expense was spared in bringing us plastic Midnight Club: Los Angeles branded goods. While we appreciate that, we’re all stocked up on plastic things at Kotaku Towers West. We’ve seen Rockstar giving some of these remote controlled cars in previous contests, so we’re not remotely the first to get these trinkets. Keep an eye peeled for this thing to be given away in some future contest.

Detail shot after the break for Midnight Club superfans who don’t already have one of these.

The Battlestations: Pacific event yielded a good look at the game, excellent (if eccentric) sushi and some decently sweet swag.

The embargo for my impressions expires on Monday morning, so check back then for the full rundown. In the meantime, I present you party pics and a swag report:

Pictured: One medium t-shirt that fits like a large and two zippo lighters with Betty Page-esque models on them.